“We need to talk” is one of the statements that prepares people for difficult conversations. What if your spouse uses this statement and informs you that they want to dissolve the marriage? What can you do?
Here are three tips you can employ when responding to divorce news:
Stay calm
Staying calm when you know your marriage is about to end may be easier said than done, especially if you didn’t see the divorce coming. However, acting out may worsen matters. Thus, listen to your spouse attentively without interrupting before responding. Do not engage in arguments even if they trigger you to.
Ask where they stand
It’s not uncommon for people to say they want a divorce during heated arguments. Therefore, calmly ask your spouse where they stand – find out if they want a divorce or have other suggestions for the matter at hand.
If you and your spouse agree the relationship can be saved, consider therapy and other reconciliation options. But if they inform you that they have done their best to make the marriage work and want out, you need to get educated. Ask for time to obtain the needed information.
Be respectful
Whether or not you agree with your spouse’s decision to end the marriage, it’s vital to respect them. You should also practice self-respect. Receiving divorce news can be stressful, but practicing self-care can help you calm down and, in turn, make informed decisions.
Seeing a therapist, joining a support group, spending time with loved ones, focusing on your hobbies and meditating are great self-care practices.
The above-discussed responses are beneficial whether you and your spouse reconcile or separate after the initial divorce conversation. Legal guidance can help you understand your options.