Divorce is often one of life’s most challenging transitions, potentially inspiring a range of emotions similar to the grief experienced after the loss of a loved one. Yet, while grief can be brutally uncomfortable, it is very important not to run away from this process. Grieving during and after a divorce is generally necessary for healing. While it may be tempting to push through the pain or ignore it, if you are divorcing, know that allowing yourself to grieve can result in lasting benefits for your emotional well-being and future relationships.
In many ways, divorce is a profound loss. It involves the end of a relationship, a shared life and the future you may have envisioned with your partner. Even in amicable divorces, there’s often a sense of sadness, disappointment and sometimes anger over what didn’t work out. These feelings are natural and part of the grieving process. By acknowledging these emotions instead of suppressing them, you can better understand your experience, which is a necessary step toward moving forward.
Potential benefits of grieving
Grieving is a process that allows you to accept the reality of your divorce, process your feelings and eventually find varying degrees of closure. It can you time to understand your emotions and learn from the relationship, which can help you gain insight into what you need in future relationships and your life as a whole. Trying to skip the grieving process may lead to unresolved feelings resurfacing later, possibly affecting other areas of your life, including your health, work and new relationships.
Additionally, shoving your emotions down can lead to decision-making that isn’t informed. When pursuing a fair divorce settlement, you generally need to work from a headspace where you’re actively processing the situation. Otherwise, you could settle for far less than you deserve – or demand far more than that to which you are legally entitled – to serve needs that you aren’t fulfilling elsewhere.
In this way, grieving is not only wise emotionally but can also be wise legally.