When parents of a newborn separate, creating a parenting time schedule that prioritizes the baby’s well-being can be challenging. That’s especially true when a child is breastfed. While both parents have a right to bond with their child, the baby’s feeding schedule and nutritional needs must be carefully considered when determining a fair and practical parenting plan.
Infants, particularly those exclusively breastfed, rely on frequent feedings that may not align with a traditional parenting time schedule. A breastfed baby typically feeds every two to three hours, making long separations from their primary caregiver difficult. Parents should (ideally) work together to create a schedule that allows the non-breastfeeding parent to develop a strong bond while ensuring that the baby’s feeding routine is not unreasonably disrupted.
Key considerations
In the early months, shorter but more frequent stretches of parenting time may be the best approach. This could involve:
- Time at the primary caregiver’s home to allow feedings to continue as needed
- Scheduled time immediately after a feeding with the non-breastfeeding parent to maximize time with the baby while minimizing feeding interruptions
- A gradual transition to longer stretches of parenting time with the non-breastfeeding parent as the baby adjusts to bottle feeding or begins solid foods
If the breastfeeding parent is comfortable, pumping and introducing bottle feeding can provide more flexibility in parenting time arrangements. This can allow the baby to spend extended periods with their other parent while still receiving breast milk. However, some babies struggle with bottle feeding, so a gradual approach is generally best.
While both parents may have strong feelings about time-sharing, the baby’s needs should be the primary focus. Courts typically encourage both parents to be involved, but they also recognize the biological demands of breastfeeding. Being aware of this when setting expectations is important.