When one parent is struggling—whether emotionally, financially or with health, addiction or stability issues, a family’s approach to co-parenting may need to be adjusted. These situations can create imbalance and tension, often placing additional burdens on the more stable parent and the child.
Despite significant difficulties, it is possible to maintain an effective co-parenting relationship that supports the well-being of the child while addressing the realities each parent is facing. However, thoughtful approaches do need to be employed, and possibly adjusted multiple times, as the struggling parent’s situation evolves.
Making a plan and setting expectations
When one parent is struggling, the other may need to temporarily take on a larger share of the responsibilities. This might include adjusting parenting time, providing additional support for school or activities or creating more structure in the child’s daily life. These adjustments are not about punishment or control—they are about providing consistency and emotional security for the child during a difficult time.
Maintaining communication will remain important as well, even when the situation is strained. If you are co-parenting with your ex and one of you is struggling, try to keep the focus on practical matters related to the child, using neutral, nonjudgmental language. If direct conversations are too tense, consider using a co-parenting app or written communication to keep things on track.
It is also important to set boundaries that protect your own well-being while keeping your child safe. If the struggling parent’s behavior affects their ability to parent—such as missing parenting time, showing signs of impairment or being emotionally volatile—document your concerns and consult your legal team about whether legal modifications to the custody order are appropriate.
At the same time, whenever possible, it helps to show and receive compassion. A parent facing personal challenges may still love and care deeply for their child, even if they are not currently able to meet all responsibilities. Supporting their or your own efforts to get help, while maintaining clear expectations about parenting duties, can lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.
Effective co-parenting does not mean everything must be perfectly balanced at all times. It means making child-focused decisions, staying flexible and knowing when to seek help. When one parent is struggling, the other’s ability to provide stability, support and a calm presence becomes even more consequential. With patience and support systems in place, families can weather difficult seasons and continue to provide a nurturing environment for their children.